Category Archives: Archived Chronicles of a Caribbean Med Student

Chronicles of my time in Med School.

Final Chronicle: So I Failed, but That Doesn’t Make Me a Failure.

So, I’m sure that those of you who have been paying attention have noticed some of the changes I’ve been making. The most obvious one at this point should be the change of my username across all my social platforms. I have changed these things, because it no longer fits who I am now. However, it’s not a loss, but rather a new beginning.

For those who had been following me and my previous chronicles, you probably knew the struggles I was having with certain classes, namely Micro and most of all Pathology. Well, this past term I’d been tasked with retaking Path 2, which I failed in the Spring term, along with taking Micro and Pharm 2 for the first time. I had to pass Path by this past term and the other two by next term. However, Path trumped them both because if I didn’t pass Path, then I wouldn’t normally be allowed to continue on as the policy is usually that you can only fail a class twice. So ultimately, this is what happened to me. I failed Path once again and after meeting to discuss the situation, my school’s academic progress committee voted and unanimously recommended dismissal. The option to appeal was open, but it would’ve required some really significant reason as to why I should be given another chance and truthfully I had none. The news was shocking at first, but truthfully; after sitting alone for two days and thinking it over, I realized I wasn’t all that broken up over it. In fact, when I got my decision letter, more so than being devestated, I felt relieved. It was like my long battle with school had finally come to an end and I could finally give in.

The fact that I felt this way spoke pretty loud to me and seemed clearer than anything in awhile. I have no doubt that at some point becoming a doctor was my passion, otherwise I wouldn’t have even made it this far. However, at some point I’d say within the last year that changed and now I’m not feeling so passionate about it anymore. Perhaps it was this change, that led me to the outcome I arrived at. Perhaps this was the wake up call I needed to finally realize it. So many times this past term I’d asked myself, “why am I doing this?” I seemed to have forgotten and I’m pretty sure when you get to that point, that means something is different and you’re probably not going to benefit from keeping on the current path. All of this was what allowed me to officially make the decision to accept their recommendation and leave the school.

It’s disappointing that I couldn’t see this through and that I’ve spent so many years of my life building up to that, just for it all to come crashing down. However, I don’t regret it and would do it again. I’d still do it because I think it was a lesson i needed to learn. I needed to realize myself after failing, that becoming a doctor just isn’t my true calling. I think I was so stuck on feeling like I had to succeed, that I couldn’t fail because so many people were looking forward to my success and were rooting for me. I think I was scared to fail only because I feared I’d let my family and friends down, rather than being scared that my dream would be over. Ultimately, it seems that this was not really my dream anymore. However, while there, I was able to make some amazing friends, in fact one best friend in particular, who I now can’t imagine living without. I had a lot of other wonderful experiences too, experiences I never would’ve had if I hadn’t done it. So no regrets.

So then what is my dream? This was the next thing I had to think about and I can’t say I know for certain just yet, but I can say this, I hadn’t been happier within this last year than when I was writing. All of you who follow me know that I’ve been heavily into writing lately, an old passion that I rediscovered while going through my med school adventure. I’d forgotten just how happy it made me, but thinking about it now, it makes a lot of sense. I’ve always been a good writer and I’ve always been praised for my writing even as a child. I just never had the confidence or drive to make anything more of it and back then my dream of being a doctor mattered more. So I ultimately put my writing on the back burner. However, within this last year, I’ve found that I could no longer put it on the back burner and in fact, I did a full 180. It started to become the case that school was being put on the back burner, while writing took the lead. That very well may have been the start of my downfall I can admit, but I can’t say I regret it, because it made me happy.

It’s clear that writing has taken the lead as my new passion, but does that now mean I don’t care about medicine? Not at all. I still have a big interest in medicine and I still love Neuroscience, which was my undergraduate major. Those things are still very much a part of my life and relevant. However, the difference now is, I’m not sacrificing my writing for them. I’m going to find a way to combine them together and I’m only just learning just how many options and opportunities there are. There’s technical writing, medical writing, science writing and many other things, the challenge now is finding something I can get into with the least amount of additional schooling and experience. The downfall of some of these is that they want many years of experience, but it’s hard to get because I either don’t have the qualifications of don’t have the experience to get experience! I’m sure that this means I’ll have to do a lot of leg work in trying to make connections in the fields I’m now interested in and really getting myself out there. To show people what I can do though, I need to start writing more and expand my topics. Now that I’m out of school, I’ll have time to do that, but unfortunately I’ll still need a job because I don’t have the luxury not to work. My loans will be coming for me soon enough.

I’m not really sure what the future holds and how the next year and beyond is going to end up, but the one thing I can say for sure is that I will never put my writing on the backburner again. It’s become too important to me and I really think it’s where my true talent lies. If there is anywhere that I can leave my mark and make a difference, I really do think it’ll be writing. So that’s why I’m going to be working towards that path. This is the birth of a new dream and I may not know for sure if it’ll pan out or if I’ll be successful, but if nothing else, I know that it’s not something I’ll ever lose passion for, because it’s always been inside of me, lost under the distractions, but I won’t let that happen again.

I thank everyone who ever rooted for me, supported me and believed in me. I don’t want you to feel sad for me, because I know that things have happened as they were meant to and I know that I will rise again, probably even better than before. I’ll no longer have to choose between writing or studying like before, where truthfully, writing often won. Now that my pursuit of being a doctor is over, I’ve changed my username to be OtakuGamerGirlT, as this will now more accurately reflect this site. I’m officially moving my writing posts and project announcements over to my offical author blog and this is where they will be from now on. I’ll be reblogging a post from there on here soon, but for those who have been following all of my writing posts here, I encourage you to go follow that blog, so you won’t miss an update. Nothing is going to change in terms of my current writing projects though. I’ll still be working on my Trails series and on The Valkyrie Princess and they will still be posted to Movellas. I’m just shifting all the future posts on those things to my author blog. If you followed my writing at all, it’s worth following.

So finally, I just want to say thank you in general to you all. This may seem like an obvious result based on the simple fact that my posts as of late have been more focused on my writing projects than anything else, but now I finally have the realization for myself. I’m going to continue to do what I love, while also continuing to research opportunities for writing in medicine and and the sciences. To my writing friends and followers out there, I’d happily take any advice you have to give. To everyone else, I’d appreciate your continued support of my posts. This blog will be dedicated to nothing but Anime, Manga and Games, which is truthfully what it was always meant to be at the beginning.

Follow my writing blog at https://literaryscribetanique.wordpress.com/

Chronicle 21: Term 3 Comes to a Close…Sort of.

Hey everyone, I’m back with an update about my progress at school. As a reminder, I was taking Pathology 1, Pharmacology 1, Microbiology, Behavioral and BioStats this past Term. In my last chronicle I mentioned how Pathology was the one class I was struggling with and it proved to be a challenge to the  end for sure, however through my perseverance, I was able to pass it somehow. I also passed the other courses as well, with the exception of Micro. Surprisingly, I started off well with Micro, but in a surprising twist, I found myself struggling with Micro as my Path scores steadily improved. I’m not sure if it’s because I devoted so much effort to Path or  not, but in the end, I was just too far deep in the hole to pull myself out for Micro.

so basically, this means that I’m not going to be promoted to full Term 4 yet. Instead, I will be Term 3.5, where I will be re-taking Micro, but I will be able to Take Path 2, which I’m pulling over from the normal term 4 lineup. This means that once I am full Term 4, I will only have Pharm 2 and Micro 2 to worry about. This also means I’ll be put a semester behind.

It’s definitely a bit disappointing, but I always try and see the best in every situation and this is no exception. I think that this may actually be a blessing in disguise because now I have a lighter course load, which will allow me to better prepare for the Step 1, which will be here before I know it. If I utilize this extra time wisely, which I absolutely will, then there is no reason I can’t potentially kill it on the Step 1 and get an awesome score. So I’m just going to keep moving forward the best I can and always try my best as usual. I thank those who have been giving me their support and concern, it always means a lot. I’ll update you all again soon, once I’m deeper into the Term, which starts in just under 2 weeks.

Chronicle 20: Post-Uni 1 of Term 3

Hey everyone. I’m here to bring you another chronicle about my med school experiences and today I want to give you an update on my progress post-uni 1. As a reminder, I’m currently taking Pharmacology, Pathology, Microbiology, Behavioral Science and BioStatistics. I’m happy to say I passed all of them on Uni 1, with the exception of Pathology. This class is definitely the most difficult of the term for me as it requires a lot of big picture thinking that integrates many details together to one common disease and I’ve always struggled a bit with that. However, I’m sure that I’ll be able to overcome that and improve myself for the remaining exams.

However, I also want to take a moment to brag a little, because I may have done bad in Path, but I totally killed it in Pharmacology. I got a 96 % on the first exam, which is amazing as the average was an 80 %. I was so shocked because in all honestly, I studied Pharm the least to cover other subjects and really only looked at it in bulk the day before the exam. I was sure I was going to just barely pass but then I pulled that off. So I’m feeling pretty awesome about it, but now also pressure to keep doing that well. A different teacher took over and he’s said to be much more difficult, so I guess we’ll see how it goes. That’s about it otherwise,  so I guess I’ll leave you with this. Until next time.

Chronicle 19: [Milestone] Year 1 Officially Complete! Year 2 Here I come!

So I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted a Chronicle, but that was just how busy I was this Term. As a reminder, I was taking Biochemistry and Genetics 2, Medical Physiology 2, Anatomy 2, Neuroscience, Embryology, Intro to Pharmacology, Intro to Clinical medicine 2. I’m happy to report that I have passed all my classes and am officially moving on to Term 3 and Year 2! It was a tough road and a lot of work, but I persevered and made it through, though it was a close call. I was very close to failing Physiology, but I somehow made it through.The hardest part of Term 2 was definitely the NBME exams, which are national exams that must be taken at the end of Year 1 by all medical students and must be passed at the 14th percentile or greater. The percentile you attain is how you rank among every 1st Year medical Student in the Nation, so getting a high score is a very big deal. These exams are also very similar to the format of the USMLE exams, which I will have to take at the end of Year 2 before I can move on to clinicals.

My individual performance on these exams were not where I wanted them to be, but I suppose considering my difficulties with test taking, not so terrible. I passed my Anatomy NBME at the 14th percentile, just making it, but I did not pass my Physiology or Biochemistry exam. Normally this would result in failure, but luckily I was doing well enough internally in these courses to pass. However, I’ll definitely say that having good communication with your professors and having a good attitude and of course going to class, can make a world of difference on if you pass or fail. I’ve learned a lot though and feel I’ve grown to better approach these courses going forward, with Term 3 being the place to test it out. In just a week, I will be starting my 3rd Term, marking the start of my 2nd Year of Medical School. I’ll be taking Pharmacology, Pathology, Microbiology, Behavioral Science and Biostatistics as well as Intro to Clinical Medicine 3. This Term will continue to push my limits, but I believe in myself and know that I can do it.

Chronicle 18: First Uni of Term 2 Went Decently, but I Want to Improve

Hey guys, so sorry I haven’t updated in a while, but I want to give you a quick update now. My first Uni consisted of the subjects Physiology, Anatomy, Genetics, Neuroscience and Embryology, 170 questions in total! I made it through somehow though and managed to pass them all with the exception of Physio. That gave me some trouble, but at a 64, I’m not in the worst position I could be, but I still really need to get it together. This is more concerning only because I have NBME shelf exams to look forward to in my 3rd block of the term, which are basically national exams very similar to the step exams, just specific for each subject. So if I don’t have an 80 minimum after the first 2 blocks in a course, and I fail the NBME, I will fail the course. So the pressure is on to pass that Physio NBME, but unfortunately it’s the hardest one, at least for my school it has been. However I’m putting in extra work, so I’m confident I’ll get it together. We’ll see where I stand after the next Uni. I’ve got a few quizzes coming up in the coming weeks, so things are getting hectic again, but I’ll try and do an update again before Uni 2. Until then, thanks.